The Secret

A melted glacier of tears have flowed and failed to cleanse a troubled mind,

Hands clasped over both ears can’t dull the thundering crack of a heart cleaved in two,

Wretched thoughts ricochet in an endless whirl of confused servitude,

Regret, the unfairness of it all, slides like an avalanche down a mountain of despair.

Escape, that elusive jewel, is locked away in an impenetrable safety box,

Endurance and duty, the Siamese twins of fate are the Masters now,

Only one saving grace till the time comes to fly on wings of hope; The Secret.

A pristine white cloth is placed beneath the feet with ritualistic care,

Deep breaths of prehistoric stellar waves passing by on their infinite journey, enter through the nose,

Infusing flesh and bone with preternatural strength, eyes glazed, lips pursed in grim determination,

Hands are the weapons of choice, fingers become knives used with surgical precision.

Watching as if from an outer body experience, the first toe nail is teased away from the skin,

A ruby droplet of first blood drips in slow motion,to land and defile the clean muslin,

Shivers of masochistic pleasure curse through every nerve ending, encouraging, exciting,

Tearing, pulling, ripping the root with a final tug, exquisite, agonized pain, head thrown back.

The cleansing, purging pool of red life force joins to make an abstract creation on the cloth.

Oh sweet release,anger, rage and tension expelled through the self inflicted wound,

Heaving, tortured breaths endure the throbbing ache of deformity on the injured digit,

Peaceful calm washes away humiliation, time slows down and pleasure reigns.

Awareness returns like a punch in the gut, a tsunami of shame leaving only guilt in its wake,

Time to hide evidence, clean up the mess, think up a new excuse, apply a band aid,

A promise for the inner child to never do this again,this is the last time, honestly,

Until the next time. And there’s always a next time, but hush now, its a secret.



6 thoughts on “The Secret

  1. Don Darkes says:

    Hmm, I am still puzzling it out. A new world to me I think.

  2. Well said, Avcarden. Fre people realize the emotional storms that the seemingly normal brain can lead us into. Sandy

    • avcarden says:

      Thank you so much Sandy for stopping by. I have just visited your blog page and it is delightful. I adore the simplicity of it, which in turn lends it a quiet power. Perfect.

  3. KD Rush says:

    That gave me the shivers. 😉

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